busy

I’m reading this book on leadership.  I’m not a big reader.  In fact, I’m a rather small one.  I lean in on the, “I’m too busy” excuse.

This African proverb caught my attention:

“A gazelle wakes up every morning knowing that it will have to run faster than the fastest lion, in order to stay alive. A lion wakes up knowing it will have to run faster than the slowest gazelle, in order to stay alive. Whether you are a gazelle or a lion, you wake up every morning knowing that you will have to run faster to stay alive.

For the past week, I’ve been buried in the details of closing down the remaining pieces of my web company.  It’s been an odd mixture of feelings.  The closing of a chapter, a stressful and very ‘busy’ chapter.  I ran fast, I worked hard, but it came a cost.

The pace of living in the former Soviet Union knows nothing of the furious western drive.  For all it’s warts and wrinkles, the culture here values relationships over money – the result is a more sincere, deeper communal experience.

Being busy is great, we just need to be busy with the things that most edify and strengthen us along the way.  It’s not a badge of honor in itself.

I’m legitimately excited, after 10yrs of dueling time zones, to be in just one culture.

The blessing of having foreign business income to fuel mission and our family is over.  It plowed the way for our family to settle into Ukraine with housing, the Lighthouse Cafe, and an emerging family of new believers trusting in Jesus.

As I let go of one plow, I notice the Lord has fitted me with another.  As director for Mir Ministries, we’re now overseeing additional commercial assets in the Russian speaking world and more projects to bring Jesus to a hungry generation.  God doesn’t waste any of our experiences.  I’m thankful for that.

It felt on most days the experience of running business was keeping me from ‘spiritual’ things, and yet, it was possibly the most forming spiritual experience of my life. I see young people shy away from responsibility, from stress, and from busy – I think that is a mistake. These things shape us into more useful tools, especially as we turn to Christ in weakness.

I’m thankful for the looming ‘extra bandwidth’ to tackle new challenges and grow in new ways.  We’ll be less comfortable financially, depending exclusively on our home church and charity, but it feels right.

I’ve just started at Fuller Seminary, and embarking on a Master of Arts in Global Leadership (MAGL). Working on this part time and the various ministries in Ukraine, Belarus and Russia will be a challenge. I’m enthused to grow as a leader and serve more effectively inside the emerging church.

Please pray for our family and next season – I’m not sure how it can all work together, but I sense Him in it.

As the dusk settles over our forest, from this freshly re-purposed perch (girls bedroom turned office), I’m reminded just how unceasingly the world turns.  It never stops, it never rests – but we can.  That beautiful sunset was created for enjoyment, for me.

#7 turns 6. Abbey is a sweet, happy-go lucky girl who has been a real treat.

Deb decided to make pancakes for the birthday ‘lunch’ – but she forgot to check for syrup. Ukraine doesn’t make maple syrup, so we have a secret stash. The stash ran out.

No worries. Brown sugar, water, maple flavoring, good to go! Sort of.

Abigail Jane Crowe turned 6 today, and we are thankful for her cheerful rays of sunshine each day. Today it was warmer out, the piles of snow are clearing away.

Went for a little walk at sunset, that’s why this picture was taken, and turned out so well. Nothing like the lighting for photography at sunset.

Pastor Alex and his leadership team from YGS Church in Kiev – a fairly new plant focusing on youth.

This weekend we hosted a team of leaders from YGS Church in Kiev.  We have visited there several times, and through our Steiger friends connected with their pastor Alex.

Several of their youth are friends with our own kids, and now some of our Club 180 youth go to services on the weekend there as well. They, along with other groups are ‘reserving’ the big house (Deb’s parents house) for 2-3 days of prayer and planning.

It seems Kiev folks really enjoy getting out of the city and coming to Rz – it helps that we have an amazing guest house with 20 beds, and it’s free!  Folks have started blessing us with a little money which we use for blessing Dima & Lena who live in the basement floor and do an amazing job caring for the house and prepping for teams.

Collins heads to Belarus tomorrow. Mir (our charity) is sending him to serve with CCX college ministry there on their week of mission. Pray for him and the teams that are taking risk to share the love of Jesus.

Our YFM girls (and Brent) are in Chernigiv (northern Ukraine) this week serving with Hope for Orphans kids camp. It will be really challenging and I believe life changing for them.

Also pray this week for Kiev summer plans and a space we could rent long term for coffee shop and creative space.  I feel God’s going to do it, possibly soon. Wisdom needed as we enter these uncharted waters.

Our Mir Board restructure is 99% complete and we are working on budgets for 2018/19.  It’s a new experience for many of us, but within the board are some very mission and life experienced individuals. God is so kind.  The new board includes a mix of our own Lighthouse/Crowe group and merges with the most active families and individuals from the legacy group (Brunk family and friends).  I’m excited to see how this will work!

I just overheard Abigail ask Deb, “How do babies come out of your belly?”

Grateful for this restful day, and our sweet Abbey.

Bruce & Deb

My gorgeous daughter and her new dreads inspired me. We’ll miss our brown pony.

So America, look out.

Our spunky, lip pierced, Jesus loving, newly dreaded 19yr old is heading your way next week.  Bronwyn will be landing in the Orlando, FL area to work this summer with her brother, staying at her grandparents.

Bronwyn beginning her goodbyes – See you later Collins ;(

This isn’t just a summer thing though- she’s in process of applying to an art school in the sunshine state. It was super cool to have her in Minsk with us this past fall and rejoin the family for a season after her African safari. I think she reconnected with some of her ‘roots.’  Hair joke, sorry.

I need to keep this light, because inside, this daddy is holding back the tears. These things sneak up on you, right?

I thought I would be better at firing off these arrows.  It’s Deb, who’s admittedly more anxious than I to empty the nest, who keeps us anchored in parenting reality – they do need to leave.  I think “The Walton’s” was my dad’s hope- that we’d all stay ‘home’ and wish each other goodnight. I get it now.

The only thing I’m excited about at the moment is sharing less of my potato chips.  Bronwyn inherited my weakness for them – she’s a gifted snack thief.

We will miss her piano playing and watching her little sisters adore her.  Whoa, tears welling up, I best move on.

Claire was inspired (by what we aren’t sure) to visit Tuckers room, find his passport, and rip the most important pages.

This past year I’ve been writing primarily around missions activity, and promoting projects, fundraising (which is particularly a favorite of mine).  I’ve missed connecting with friends across the pond on a more personal level.

Deb and I were talking the other day about how dramatically the world via the internet has changed things over the past 10 yrs.  When we moved here, our ‘blog’ was cutting edge, the iPhone was just announced by Steve Jobs, and President Obama was taking office.  Yeah, I think a lot has changed for everyone.

For missionaries like us, who rely exclusively on communication to ‘connect’ and provide meaningful spiritual and financial resources, today’s glut of information overload is a real challenge.

Up until a few years ago, sending out a newsletter, email, or blog update was fairly unique.  Today we’re bombarded with social media 24/7 – everyone posting anything. I was noticing a friend (a few hours north of us), who runs an orphanage and their only ministry vehicle is dead – they need a new van. Their post for this incredible need was sandwiched between marketing ads and “7yrs ago today” photos.

Like the printed newsletter 30yrs ago, social media is becoming an ineffective conduit for missionaries to fuel mission.  We need wisdom.

Meet Leera, sharp next generation Ukrainian leader running her own Temp Agency. She’s from war-torn Donetsk. I’m praying about how we can help her grow her business in the context of missions.

There’s just too much information to wade through.

I’m exhausted after the unending scroll of facebook and I know you are too.  Instagram is completely run by the emerging generation under 30. They left facebook a while ago (normal when parents show up).  Yet, even Instagram is now dominated by the ultra A.D.D. format of 5 second daily snapshots.

To insert legitimate prayer requests, or promote missional activity in these spheres is increasingly inappropriate and counterproductive.  People are looking for dopamine hits and here we are, reminding them of spiritual realities – unfriend.

How did I start this post about Bronwyn leaving and end up here?  Our family, like yours, is changing.  Deb and I are entering mid 40’s, actually Deb is already there 😉  As you get older, you increasingly treasure meaningful connection.  Shallow ‘likes’ and voyeur like spectating of each-other’s lives is lame.

Wes & Kim Janzen, Kiev Symphony Orchestra & Choir conductors – Missionaries from BC Canada!

I’m getting back to blogging to update those who continue to care, love and support our journey. I need to be more personal and vulnerable.

I want to apologize if some of our promoting and ‘ministry’ stuff has left you less interested and even disconnected. Our blog still gets cool readership levels, over 60 will read it within 24hrs.  Of those, a majority we’ve known for many years. That relationship means more to us than a donation or a like on fb.

I’m realizing I want to write for those that have been more wise than I and have already made healthy disconnects from the use of technology. So if you notice some more edgy updates, frustrations, or more gory details of broken society, this is why.

If you have any suggestions, thoughts, please write me!  I want to know how to best stay connected.

Prayer Request March/April:

– Bronwyn: she leaves Tuesday, for her re-entry into the foreign land that is America – I think there will be some genuine culture shock coming her way.

– YWAM Trip Russia: UPDATE!!! We received a generous donation from a Texas friend who will help Deb come with me to Vladivostock!  We only need $200 more if you would like to contribute, click here.

****any additional funds we receive for this trip, we’d like to buy some chairs for the Lighthouse Cafe, after 5yrs of daily use we have several needing replacing. 

– Fuller Seminary Begun!  I have begun a graduate course (MAGL Masters Global Leadership).  It’s 90% online and about 15hrs per week for the next few years.  How I was accepted is an incredible story and I praise Him for putting this on my heart and flinging wide these doors. Pray for me please.

– Spring/Summer Trips & Mission: We have a lot of changes taking place. I think it’s just the beginning! As International Director with our charity Mir Ministries, we have a new board and exciting new plans for advancing Jesus Christ in Ukraine, Belarus and Russia. Deep breath. Please pray for all of us and unity as we move forward into this next chapter.  So thankful for the oversight & experience surrounding our families in Kiev & Minsk!l

– July 15-August 15 we hope to be in Canada/US (required for my program).  My family in Canada has offered to help bring the family, but we’re not sure if we’ll be able to pull it off yet. Regardless who comes, we would love to potentially visit you in person and enjoy your fellowship.  Invite us!

Was cool to see Kiril, our Club 180 youth on a Steiger Video during a conference in Kiev! He’s an orphan that is serving God and really neat dude.  Lighthouse fruit on display in big ole Kiev – sweet!

Things we’ve been studying/learning:

– Rhythm of ‘working’ to enter regular spiritual rest – how the Sabbath ultimate goal was to help bring our souls to genuine peace and rest (from works) with Christ.  (Heb 4).

– Books: Leadership Elipse (Fryling), Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places (Peterson), Life You Always Wanted (Ortberg).

– If you want something substantive, thought provoking & completely antagonistic towards today’s humanistic dialogue, check out Dr. Jordan Peterson on Youtube.

With love,

Bruce & Deborah Crowe

Spring is here.. hold that thought!

It’s March 24th and my kids just finished building a snowman. We’ll take it over the mud, but I’m admittedly weary of the never ending winter.

I like to start things, but I’m often jumping the gun.

Learning to allow for more reflection, discussion and prayer. I get frustrated around impulsive people, yet I find the opposite extreme of debilitating caution the worst of the two extremes.

Spring tried to start. It wasn’t time. It will try again.

When pioneering something ‘new’, whether in your family, business or ministry, we ultimately need to take steps. I realize we’re all wired differently and the process won’t be the same for everyone, but God loves appropriately placed faith.

When we are actively trusting Jesus for justification and union NOW (like today), we let go of so much fear.

Contrary to the world, a believers value shouldn’t rest in whether our ideas work or fail, but in Jesus alone.

This has been a hard lesson for me.  I admittedly care too much what people think.  Who wants to be known as the one that failed or had to start over?

Yet, when free from this performance, we’re emboldened to take risks, even leap into adventurous new chapters.

Don’t be afraid of false starts. Don’t be afraid if you have to stop and re-calibrate a ministry or business. Don’t listen to judging attitudes of others.  Easier said than done.

The world needs to see that the Gospel actualized in more than Sunday sermons. The fact that Jesus is alive today proves we are perfectly loved by a perfect God.  If we believe that, we’re more free to step out in faith and impact our world.

So get out there and start, even if you need to start again.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us – Eph 3:20