Our first Christmas in Romania. Broderic’s family joined us at our house outside the center of Cluj. I’ve blogged very little sincet the onset of the war in Ukraine. Partly because I send out monthly newsletters by email, but also because I’ve been back at Fuller this past year, and heavily reading, and writing in academic mode.

I’ve been reasearching the history of Slavic cultural development from a missiological perspective. I have just completed my ‘literature review’ based on my research topic and variables. Writing academically has required learning in itself, as I learn to survey previous research, and bring the voices of others to the table much more. Even now, as I simply stream my own thoughts on a page, it now feels a bit foreign, like I’m being naughty! To write academically is to detach, as much as possible, your personal feelings, and interact with material in such a way as to search for gaps, opportunities, with the end in view that eventually you will add your findings, and your own unique perspective to the ongoing conversation. There’s a ton of citating, and if you were to read my dissertation so far, it wouldn’t be that engaging unless you really cared about the themes I’m dealing with.

I will, however, carve out some blogs here in the coming year. I really miss it. Entering this next year, year two of four. I had to redo the first year, having already completed 70% of it, but I’m thankful I was able to. My focus, and my professor has been divinely orchestrated, I believe.

So the year is coming to a close. Deb and I are very grateful, to say the least, that the year 2023 is over. It’s possibly the first year we’ve ever journeyed through where we’ve felt like whipped puppies at the end, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Having the year uphended by Brent’s hospitalization in the US, returning for 4 unexpected months, and going through that valley has really shaped us in ways I’m not sure we understand just yet. God has mercifully allowed Brent to stay with us in here Romania since September, and regain his footing, and with family as he titrates off all the meds they put him on. He’s about 70% off them now, and doing really well. We are all still cautious and insist that he takes it one step at a time. He’ll be starting a couple college courses this January, a huge step back to full independence in this coming year.

We’ve been delighted to return to Romania. The girls have been doing well. Claire enjoys hip-hop dancing with other Ukrainians at a club in the center. Abigail loves to read, like her sister, but perhaps reads even more. Noah is in that 16yr old phase, he’s not really wanting to grow up, very creative, and excelling at piano. Clark, he’s 18yrs old this January and in love with a young lady in Texas, daughter of longtime friends. He’s loving ultimate frisbee, and part of my regrets he didn’t have more athletic opportunities before now, he’s really quite natural at whatever sports he attempts.

Tucker, he’s finishing up his first college year, he does it onling in PA while still working 30hrs per week at a FedEx warehouse nearby our PA home where he stays. Bronwyn enjoyed her first year marriage and halfway through her second with Logan.

We’re now looking at a possible downtown project here in Cluj, a 2nd Lighthouse platform. We’re taking the next few weeks to pray about whether this is truly the Spirit’s invitation for us at this time. Part of my feels good about it, but another part feels nervous because I really want to approach my life more carefully, less impusively. I’m attracted to challenges, particularly those that are missiologically, and will challenge comfortable church goers into action and new mental models. I also am trying to discern Broderic & Kristin’s time here in Romania, along with them. Are they here long term? Is this an opportunity for them? As a dad, you want to make space, who wouldn’t want your kids and grandkids near? As a missionary, the life of faith is not for the faint of heart, and without a calling, a strategy in your heart, and a strong team behind you to pray and financially help, things can go sideways.

Deb just finished her first semester at Fuller. She’s enjoyed the challege, and the adult learning alongside others her age. I’ve enjoyed watching her develop new routines, albeit they’ve opened up requirements for the rest of us – she really runs the Crowe ship wherever we are living.. not to mention living in new places makes adaptation even more challenging. But, she feels it’s the Lord, and we hope to make it work.. one semester at a time.

Neither Deb nor I know what is next, really? But who really knows what is next? It’s been two years since we left Ukraine, two full years. As we renegotiate our present and future days in light of the continued war with Russia, there’s not a whole lot that is truly certain in our plans or even vision of what our lives will look like in 5, 10 yrs? The one thing we focus on, is learning to be present, increasingly. No more hiding into work, hiding into writing, or ‘leading’ just to perform some roles. We want to lead by our transformation, by embodying love, sensing the invitaitons of the Spirit to ‘whatever’ .. with ‘whomever’ and ‘wherever’. If we fail in this area of growth, now having lived half a century, what’s the point? If the call to live in Christ, and into our true imago Dei selves goes unexperienced, our message to the world is powerless and otherworldly. We need to make Jesus at home in our lives, it’s where the Spirit longs to dwell.. not in our ideas, plans, possible futures or regretted pasts.

So, welcome 2024. I will blog some more. I’m into Kierkegaard at the moment, and wrestling through some meaty stuff that challenges my soul. He was much more of a non-compromising man of faith than I realized. I have been looking at my podcast equipment here recently and considering firing it back up. We intended to continue it, but life happened.

Items we are praying about:

  • Lighthouse Cluj?
  • How will we technically stay in Romania past our visas which expire May 2024?
  • Selling the big house in Rz, to free up $ to live in Romania (rent is expensive).
  • I’d like to teach part time, either locally or online.
  • Brent back on his feet, for place/space/job post April 2024.